Among the Lights

Under the white arena lights
dust lifting from the ground

thousands of voices
bootheels striking metal
flags opening in the dark

I walked with them
yet somewhere else

an older wind moved in me
no one heard it

not from cattle
not from the songs of this place

from a farther field
I once crossed alone
no gate opening

the crowd drifted past
brimmed hats
warm shoulders

their closeness like weather
on the skin

inside
a cold space remained

I thought
perhaps the earth has no shape for me
perhaps I pass through gatherings
like smoke through light

and disappear
before anyone sees the fire

a quieter voice said

you are a guest here
the herd belongs to itself

stand beside the rail
learn the margin

in the wide ring
two figures waited

my wife
holding my restless hand

and her cousin
carrying the sun of another sea
in her laughter

with them
the noise loosened

the lights softened
the thunder moved away

the loneliness did not leave

it bowed
and walked beside us

perhaps this is home

not the shouting crowd
not the flags

but two or three
who know the wind in you
and stay

the cattle passed
the music faded

the dust returned to the ground

still the two truths remained

I am the stranger moving through the fair

and I am held

while the great noise of the world
continues without me

and the smaller fire
keeps burning in the ribs.