Closing the Chapter

I walked past the cathedral
not to enter
but to note its persistence
stone continuing
when belief has thinned.

Vienna at the turn of the year
holds its breath
as if time itself were
a formal occasion
requiring music.

Inside
the orchestra performs continuity
strings repeating what has survived
love
loss
the practiced grace of return.

My hand rests in another hand
an action both ordinary
and astonishing
after so many rehearsals of solitude.

Family stands nearby
languages overlapping
Greek vowels
Austrian consonants
a temporary coherence
that feels like mercy.

The past waits
as it always does
patient
neither forgiven nor accusing
only present.

Later
the waltzes begin
circular arguments for joy
sorrow taught to move
without protest.

I listen
not for transcendence
but for permission
to remain.

Outside
the night is efficient
lamps placed where lamps have always been
history managed
by municipal light.

We find a café
warmth pretending to be eternal
coffee cooling as all things cool
and I observe
with mild astonishment
that this is my life.

Not imagined
not deferred
not survived
but occurring.

January opens
without instruction.

I am not healed
only less governed
by what has already happened.

God remains
as a word
as a question
as a habit of gratitude.

Ahead of me
my wife walks
into the light
and I follow
not redeemed
but willing
to continue.